Respect is overrated

and so is talent and genetics — but those for another time.

I love psychology. I’ve been perpetually immersed in psychology; psychoanalysis is something that’s part of me — something that’s inseparable from my personality. And I’ve always been a curious person — if you ever asked my mom what my personality was like as a toddler, she’d tell you about how I would always inquire “why” — why the sky is blue. Why my sister, at age 3, wasn’t like all the other 3-year olds. Why our apartment was on the third floor and not the first.

Most these questions are nonsensical but some of them, arguably, reflected something deeper within me: an unquenchable thirst — a bottomless hunger for the (capital-t intentional) Truth.

In human beings, one of the ways Truth is reflected is through a person’s charachter — how true that person is to what he/she thinks is the Truth (no matter whether it’s demonstrably right or wrong) and more practically, what steps he/she takes to actualize it. Meaning: how much action does a person take in order to manifest his/her truth?

Which is why I find Chael Sonnen so fascinating. One of “his” more honest interviews:

Objectively, Chael’s been ranked in the top 10 in a weight division (and still is) that’s highly touted by many as one of the most competitive divisions in the premier mixed martial arts (the most primal and most effective form of fighting) federation in the history of mankind. To not listen and learn from what somebody in his standing has achieved would be foolish. So with that said:

Well if I don’t mean it, I won’t say it. Ever. I don’t do hyperbole, I don’t do exaggeration and [stares directly at camera] I damn sure don’t give apologies.

I also don’t know what’s up with these fighters and their little fake egos that refuse to admit when they get hurt … is your ego that small when you can’t admit a guy rung your bell? … I’m proud of the fact that Michael Bisping drilled me and I walked through it. He hit me and it hurt — and I don’t care.

I don’t have respect, period. And I would encourage you in your life to get it out as well. Respect is for children. If somebody is my senior, I will ‘respect’ them. If somebody is a competitor I’m going to compete — at anything. And I’m not going to walk in there with a hat in my hand and I’m not going to walk on eggshells. I’m going to be big and boisterous and I’m going to take care of business. That’s it.

To explain the implications regarding these quotations would be a bit much if you’re not already familiar with Chael’s personality and what he’s said regarding some of his opponents.

But simply look at the intentions behind what he’s saying given his standing as one of the best kick-assers in the history of mankind. Honesty not only to himself but also to his truth (which in this case, happens to be objectively demonstrable).


“I don’t judge”

Yes you do. Even if you, or I, don’t consciously decide to internalize how we view people, judgment transcends our humanity — it’s rooted in our primal, subconsciousness.

Especially if you’re a female. Historically, males were primary hunters for hundreds and thousands of years; males were responsible for killing and bringing home that deer so that his family/tribe could survive. Females, since they were responsible for protecting the offspring when males were out hunting, have developed almost a sixth-sense sort of instinct.

That’s why, for instance, “natural vision” differs between genders. Men are focal creatures; we can concentrate on what’s in front of us and view it with a crystal vision. Such focused vision assisted us in ensuring our prey (read: food) didn’t run away. It helped us hunt. It helped us survive. Nowadays, it’s pretty obvious when dudes are checking out chicks because… well, it’s difficult for us to see something if we don’t obviously turn our heads to look at something. That’s why women already know men are interested and we’re dumbfounded how women already knew..

it’s because women are naturally attuned, visually, to everything around them.

Fact: women can see 180-degrees (and even a little behind them).

This sort of prowess assisted females in detecting threats back in the old days; falls under the category of that “sixth sense” women have developed over centuries. If a female couldn’t detect threats (say, a hungry lion or an ill-intended stranger), then the likelihood that she (and her offspring) have survived would tremendously decline.

At the risk of sounding arrogant, were you even aware of such a thing before you read about it?

Of course not. Neither was I — but it’s rooted in our nervous system to have such awareness.

That’s what we guys do when we stare each other down — it’s because we feel threatened by that new stranger who entered the room. Obviously, it doesn’t make much sense in today’s world; you just come across as a dick when you try and mean-mug every single male you come across. Primally however, it makes perfect sense: ward off the potential threat via posturing so that you have a higher chance of survival down the road.

That’s why women are so attuned to that drunk slob of a guy approaching clumsily in a bar — and why they run away when he’s 20 feet away. Females, primally, are so attuned to potential threats that their senses have evolved to detect such things.

When a person walks into a room, we immediately judge. Subconsciously or not, we do. And that’s perfectly fine (and unavoidable); instead of pretending like we’re capable of perfect non-judgment (and if you think you are, get off your high horse), embrace that it’s human to judge. And proceed from there to rationalize (something our amygdala, our “primate” brain, isn’t capable of) that judgment isn’t relevant.